things you said that I wish you hadn't
by great gospel
Summary: "I would die for you, you know." — IchiRuki


**Word Count**: 710

**Characters/Pairings**: Ichigo, Rukia; IchiRuki

**Timeline/Spoilers**: no timeline; vague spoilers for whole series

**Summary**: "I would die for you, you know."

**Notes**: prompt – things you said that I wish you hadn't

So, I guess I'm on an ichiruki roll right now.

This was a prompt fill from tumblr, and I guess I liked it enough to publish it on here!

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"I would die for you, you know."

It glides off your tongue with ease, like it's the simplest concept in the world. And truly, it is. To say it out loud is just like breathing. You would die for her. You would.

No matter that she's long dead anyway and has 'lived' near two centuries now, but you never cared for the logistics of it. To you, she hums with the breath of life and is as vivid as the hues of nature surrounding you, as constant as the turn of the world around you, as bright and lucid as the light of the moon streaming down on you at this very moment. You've never known someone so alive, and you'd be damned if you ever let someone cut her down.

This is meant as no insult to her fighting prowess. Like an elegant weapon forged from bone and brimstone, she's a fearsome warrior forged from blood and battle. The flames of the furnace have only made her steel gleam sharper. Whether it was skirmishing for scraps on the streets, or brandishing her sword in defense of innocents, she is a warrior through and through.

The swift uppercut to your jaw comes as a shock to you, of course. It's cool and cutting, with too much bite behind it to be indicative of your usual banter and playful punches. She's positively seething, breathing out so heavily that the words won't come forth. But it's that pointed glare that reveals much too little and much too much that hits you the hardest. There's a storm brewing in her eyes and lightning throbbing through her veins.

The air is suddenly much too thick; it's downright suffocating, no matter that you were enjoying a nighttime stroll in the open air after a routine mission in your hometown.

All she wants is for you to live a normal, human life without the burdens she's unjustly thrust upon you. She was ready to die herself, head held high and proud in the face of her own execution. She had the gall to demand that you leave, as the flames were so close to eating her alive. (Ah, but you forget that these were the very flames that birthed her and made her who she is.) You want to call her out on this hypocrisy. Too many times has she leapt in front of you to take the brunt force of an attack meant to take your life. Too many times has she so willingly bounded into the line of fire, and yet she won't allow you the same privilege of protecting her. In fact, wasn't that how you met? Even as strangers, she was already safeguarding you. You, a foolish human whose first response was to kick her and to continuously hinder her work. Her selflessness knows no bounds, and you feel the pricklings of shame at how difficult you were in the beginning, unwilling to take up her mantle after she had already sacrificed so much for you. But hey, you were just a fifteen-year-old boy, attempting to lead a normal life, who never asked for this, and— Ah, and that is her point precisely.

She became a shinigami in order to survive, with little choice in the matter. But you, you have a lifetime ahead of you. You, who has already done so much for a world that still holds you in suspicion, while she was the only one to vouch for you. She wants for you what she never had for herself, and she loves you enough to sacrifice her very being for this.

But has she ever considered that that may not be what you want? That so long as you die protecting those you hold dear, then you die happy? That those miserable seventeen months spent powerless and alone and so utterly _human _showed you what you really desired? An eternity spent at her side, whether it is in life or death, with the ability to shield your loved ones.

You want to share this discovery with her, but the burning in her eyes tells you to keep your mouth shut. This is a conversation for another time. You can't help but wonder how much time together you have left.

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_owaranai_

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**A/N**: I actually kinda really like the style I wrote this in. Let me know your thoughts. Please don't favourite without reviewing!


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